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| Happy Kids Newsletter Month Three There are images in the actual Newsletter that cannot be added here, but some of the links are active. |
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| Happy Kids Newsletter This is not another parenting method...this is your missing foundation...the fundamentals that simplify parenting, answer the questions that worry you...keep you up at night...trouble your heart and mind. These fundamentals help you to use any parenting methods...successfully. Conflict! Hi -- Conflict is the basis of all the troubles between parents and children. Think about it: when you are angry with your children it's because they want one thing and you want another, whether it's over bedtimes (you want them to go to bed - they want to stay up), homework (you want them to do their homework - they want to watch TV), chores (you want them to do their chores - they want to go to their friend's)...whatever the issue. Conflicts develop because everyone has differences: differences in interests (some of us like to read and some of us would rather play video games), differences in beliefs (some of us believe in 'the work ethic' and some of us believe that 'life is a playground'), differences in values (some of us believe in cooperation and some of us believe in competition), differences in likes and dislikes (some of us like chili and some of us don't). You may say that conflicts develop because your kids do something you don't like, or that makes you mad, or that is wrong, but the differences between you are at the basis of what they did and what your reaction is. In just about anything you can think of there can be differences between two people. Picture this: no one has the same point of view. That means that no one physically looks out of your eyes, except you. If two or more people are looking at the same thing, each person's point of view is different, if only slightly. That's not to say that we don't have many things in common, but conflict comes when we have differences and do not know how to resolve them in a humane and peaceful manner. Learning how to do this is what this module is all about. We Each Have Our Own Agenda It can help to realize that, whatever our age, we each have our own agenda, our own motivation, our own needs to satisfy. Whether it is a baby crawling toward the coffee table, to pull themselves up so they can better investigate the shiny object on it, or a two year old who is determined to choose their own clothes and to dress themselves, or anyone else doing anything else, simple or complicated, it is part of their agenda. You are naturally motivated to pursue your own agenda. Keeping It Respectful! Q&A: Until I have current questions from current readers, I will answer questions that I've been asked in the past that I believe have current relevance. If you want to ask a question use this link: Click Here to Ask Lying! The following example is based on a real life situation. Of course, the names are different: Dad has found out that his son has been lying to him about how he is doing in school. Dad feels hurt and frustrated. He doesn't know what to do. I advised him: Step One: Set up the meeting: And Step Two: Introduce the Guidelines: "Hey Jeff. Could you come here for a minute? I really need your help." (Dad asks, he doesn't command. He lets his son know that it won't take long. He explains that he needs his son's help with something.) "Sure, Dad." (Jeff cooperates. After we finish this scenario, we'll look at one where Jeff does not cooperate.) "Jeff, I need to set up a meeting with you because I need your help with something. Is now a good time for you?" (Dad makes an informative, respectful request.) "I was just going over to Kevin's. Can we do this later?" (Son makes an informative, respectful request.) "Sure, what about after dinner?" (Dad suggests a possible solution, maybe it will work for them. If it does not, they can continue until they find something that works for both of them.) "Okay." "Let's meet here in the kitchen because I need to write some things down. (Dad is taking care of where the meeting is being held here. Maybe it would be better if he asked...) Before we get started I want to tell you about something I am learning about. It's called the Power of Respect and it's how we can get along, no more fighting, no more punishments, both of us getting what we need, both of us getting to have a good time. What do you think?" "It sounds good. What's this meeting about?" "Well, before we get into that I need to make something very clear: even though we are going to talk about a problem I am having, we are going to come to a solution that we both like. We won't decide on something that only one of us likes. We both have to like it. Does that sound good to you?" (Here is where dad re-introduces the rule: The solution must be a win-win solution) "Sure. But what's this meeting about?" "I got a call from the school counselor today. She said you are failing algebra and history. You told me you were doing well in everything. I want us to come to a decision about what we can do so that you won't feel that you need to lie to me. We can work on your school problems another time. Right now I feel really sad that you think you need to lie to me and I want to change that. I'm going to write down that tonight we are going to find a solution for my problem of not wanting you to lie to me. I want you to be happy to tell me the truth. Does that sound okay to you?"(Two of the ground rules get introduced here: Define the problem and write it down and Whose problem is it) "I guess." "Okay. I want to tell you how this works. You are going to love it. Me, too. First we brainstorm. That means we have a brainstorm of thoughts. Every thought gets written down, no matter what thought, it gets written down. Neither of us says anything against any thought. That's very important for brainstorming otherwise we might miss the thought that is going to solve this for us, or me, rather. Do you understand?" "You mean I can say any thought and you will write it on the list?" "Yeah. Shall we get started?" Now let's experience this in action: Step Three: Brainstorming: "Sure. I want to go to camp this summer." "Okay. I'll write that down. 'You always tell me the truth.' I'll write that down, too." "I never tell you the truth." "I'll write that down. (Dad does not get mad about this. He keeps the brainstorming going.) 'I always tell you the truth'." "When I tell you the truth, you don't get mad at me." "When I tell you the truth you pay me ten dollars." "When I tell you the truth you give me something I want." "I really do want to go to summer camp this summer." "If you tell the truth and it makes me mad, I'll go cool off before I talk to you about it. I won't get mad at you." "What about summer camp? Can I go?" "Any other ideas?" (Dad keeps the focus on what they are doing.) "No." "Okay, let's go on to the next step: crossing off ideas we don't like." Step Four: Elimination "So, is there anything you want to get rid of?" "Yeah, cross off the part that you get mad at me." "Okay. I also want to cross off that you never tell me the truth. Anything else?" "Let me see the list....no nothing else for me." Step Five: Negotiation "Okay. Now let's figure out a plan so that you are happy to tell me the truth." "You can't get mad at me. If you do, I won't want to tell you the truth. If you want the truth, you have to be nice to me when I tell you. Otherwise I won't." "Well, what if I can't help getting mad?" "Then I just won't tell you the truth if I think you'll get mad." "I guess that won't work. Okay, I'll try to learn not to get mad. I know there are anger management classes and information. I'll look into that." "What if I have someone else tell you things if I think you are going to be mad? Then you can get over your mad before I talk to you." "That's a great idea." "What if I write the truth to you if I think you'll be mad? Then you can get over it before we talk." "Another great idea." "What about if I always let you know the truth, then I get to go to summer camp?" "I think that is a good plan, but you might have to earn some of the money to go." "That's okay, as long as I can go." "Let's plan on it." "Thanks, Dad. My best friends are going and I want to go to." "So, this seems like our plan: I look into anger management. You either have someone else tell me or write to me if you think I'll be mad. I calm down before I talk to you. You always let me know the truth and you go to summer camp. Does that cover it?" "Yeah." "Okay. Find out where your friends are going to camp and then we can make plans. How much time do you need to find out about camp?" "I can ask tomorrow." "So is tomorrow after dinner good for you?" "Yeah. It's good." "Okay. It's good for me, too." Step Six: Take Action "My friends are going to camp at Silver Lake. They are going to bring me a brochure tomorrow. We could look it up on the computer tonight." "I looked on the computer last night about anger management. I got a lot of good, useful information. I'm going to work on it. We could go now and look up the camp." "Yeah, let's do it right now!"....... "It looks like everything is going to work out fine. Let's meet again on the weekend and make our next decisions." "I have a game on Saturday, but I can meet after that, before I go to Kevin's." "Okay. I'll put it on the calendar. About 5:00?" "Yeah." Step Seven: Evaluation "Dad, you're doing great with that anger management stuff. It makes me feel much better." "Thanks, Jeff. Summer camp is working out, too. I can afford it easily. I sure am glad I got into this Power of Respect thing. It's making everything much better." "I'm glad, too, Dad." Power of Respect Question: Wouldn't it be great to get what you need and to help your child get what they need, too? Click Here to Ask: get your question answered in a future newsletter Next Week: Discover what Brainstorming is and how this skill can help create harmony in your family... May Your Efforts Be Successful and Satisfying! Best Wishes Always, Karen Ryce The Miracle Worker...of Education and Parenting www.happykidsco.com Karen Ryce Presents Follow: Follow Me On Facebook Follow Me On Twitter Let's Raise Happy Kids! Share: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon We value your privacy and we're not going to rent, trade, share or sell your information to anyone. If you want to read the details of the privacy policy, you can read them here. Contact Us ' Privacy Statement Copyright (c) 2011, 2012, 2014 Karen Ryce Presents Karen Ryce Presents Copyright (c) 2011, 2012, 2014 All Rights Reserved Karen Ryce Presents retains all copyrights in any text, graphic images, and software owned by Karen Ryce Presents and hereby authorizes you to electronically copy documents published herein solely for the purpose of transmitting or viewing the information. You may not mirror, modify or otherwise alter any files in this newsletter for rebroadcast, or print the information contained therein, without written permission from Karen Ryce. Except as expressly provided above, nothing contained herein shall be construed as conferring any license or right under any Karen Ryce Presents copyright, patent or trademark. All transmissions of any of the information in this newsletter must include this paragraph and the following link: http://www.happykidsco.com |
| Video Reveals How To Get Kids To Happily Do What You Want Them To Do Parents As Models Hi -- Here's the next video with another Positive Respect Secret. This third secret goes hand-in-hand with the second. It explains the parent's role in even more detail. As a parent...you are the primary...role model for your kids. You are their first examples of how to think, feel and act. Since you want your kids to be happy, you need to keep this in mind. This video helps avoid common pitfalls, explains why things may be going as they are going, and offers guidelines to help things go the way you want them to go, so you can be happy, too. Click Button Below To Watch Video... May Your Efforts Be Successful and Satisfying! Best Wishes Always, Karen Ryce The Miracle Worker...of Education and Parenting www.happykidsco.com Karen Ryce Presents Follow: Follow Me On Facebook Follow Me On Twitter Let's Raise Happy Kids! Share: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon |
Happy Kids Member Site! Hi -- Immersion! Get INSTANT ACCESS...To: · All Trainings / · Ebooks / · Videos / · Audios / · Q&As / · "The Quick Fix!" + "Instant Start Guide" / · Live Support (only at announced times) / · Chat / · The Weekly Question / · The Happy Child Quiz / · Groups (Parents, Grandparents, Teachers) / · Online & Offline Events / · ...and everything else! Regular price: $97/month Sale price: $1/month Become a Member now! Lock in the Sale Price ($1/month), as long as you remain a member! Discounts alone make this a must-have! May Your Efforts Be Successful and Satisfying! Best Wishes Always, Karen Ryce The Miracle Worker...of Education and Parenting www.happykidsco.com Karen Ryce Presents Follow: Follow Me On Facebook Follow Me On Twitter Let's Raise Happy Kids! Share: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon |
| Love And Logic?...Just Keep It Respectful Keep 'Love and Logic' Respectful Hi -- I watched most of the videos put up by the creators of Love and Logic. Their approach is certainly an improvement on punishment, spanking, yelling. However, they do believe in and teach parents how to overpower their children in other ways. They recommend maintaining your calm with your kids. Only giving an instruction once. Making sure that the child understood the instruction. Then if the child does not follow orders, there are different techniques parents learn to use to stay calm and let the child know it is their problem that they did not follow directions, not that the parent is going to get angry and punish them, but is going to make sure that they complete what they were told to do. For example: A child was told to take out the garbage by the end of the day. If they did not, and the parent is directed to hope they do not, the parent is to wait until the child is deeply asleep, but before midnight, the end of the day, and then wake them to remind them that they were to take out the garbage before the end of the day...and the day is almost over. Then the parent is to make sure that the child complies. The parent is told that the child will be in no frame of mind to resist, having been wakened out of a deep sleep. If the parent had made respect their foundation because they want their children to be happy and confident, they would have figured out something that works for the parent and the kids, for the benefit of all involved. Possible Respectful Solutions: · Child and parent agree what chores they are going to do. · Parent and child agree when they are going to do their chores. · They agree what is going to happen if someone does not do a chore they agreed to do. · They agree to hire a housekeeper... May Your Efforts Be Successful and Satisfying! Best Wishes Always, Karen Ryce The Miracle Worker...of Education and Parenting www.happykidsco.com Karen Ryce Presents Follow: Follow Me On Facebook Follow Me On Twitter Let's Raise Happy Kids! Share: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon |
*** After one brief session these girls got to the root of the trouble and came up with a solution. Their teacher, who was witnessing this session said, "It really does seem like a miracle!" *** A preschool child who experienced months of "potty accidents" had not a single one after being exposed to the strategies from the "Power of Respect." *** A father at his wit's end with his seven year old daughter's behavior solved all their problems and they never fight with each other again after they participate in one strategy from the "Power of Respect." *** A classroom "troublemaker" participates in a "Power of Respect" strategy session and finds a solution to bring peace to the classroom. *** With help from the strategies of the "Power of Respect" an abused and troubled teen turns away from gang life to his love of music and his talent as a musician. *** An autistic student, due to the use of the "Power of Respect," was able to chose and enter all regular classes during high school and sent an email saying how happy and successful he was. Comments about Karen Ryce's Parenting for the New Millennium "I started to read it and couldn't put it down." "It's my bible!" "My children are so nice now!" "I wish I had this book when I was raising my children." "I wish my mother would get your book." "It's every parent's dream come true." "Unfortunately children don't come with a manual, user's guide or other documentation. We're all on our own when it comes to raising our kids and we often find ourselves doing the same things our parents did. Fortunately I found 'Parenting for the New Millennium'" Dr. Ann Fendley, MD "An easy-to-understand book that gives a bundle of ideas and communication skills for building families that function peacefully and foster the kind of kids every parent wants." Dr. Thomas Gordon, Author, P.E.T. Parent Effectiveness Training "Karen Ryce's book, Parenting for the New Millennium, can make a positive difference in the lives of children and parents...." Elena Hopkins, Retired Assistant Welfare Director To make changes like these in your life, learn and use the powerful Power of Respect strategy called End Conflict NOW! That's exactly what has happened using this strategy. Conflict ended. It's a great place to start! Click here to get your Power of Respect End Conflict NOW! Mini-Course. Scroll to the bottom of the page, under Trainings and purchase it for $1. Schools have paid $300 for this training. OR you can join the Happy Kids Member Site, also for $1 and get the Mini-Course and Everything Else for that $1. (If you remain a member, you are charged $1 every month) Click the button below and get the current version of Parenting for the new Millennium: Good Parent Good Kids (it's listed under Ebooks) |
| Your New Habit: Clearly Inform Others... A Habit To Heal Misunderstandings Hi -- I have discovered that so many problems between kids and adults are the result of misunderstandings. They are talking at cross purposes. They think they are discussing the same topic, but they aren't. When they discover what the other person really meant, not just what they thought they meant, often conflict vanishes. The conflict was based on the misunderstanding. When they accurately understand each other's meaning...there is no conflict! Can't you think of a time of misunderstanding? Imagine how good everyone would feel if they really understood each other?... Maybe next time... May Your Efforts Be Successful and Satisfying! Best Wishes Always, Karen Ryce The Miracle Worker...of Education and Parenting www.happykidsco.com Karen Ryce Presents Follow: Follow Me On Facebook Follow Me On Twitter Let’s Raise Happy Kids! Share: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon |
Let’s Raise Happy Kids! Share: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon Raise Happy Kids Webinar - Free! Experience The 'Raise Happy Kids' Webinar Hi -- It is wonderful that you want your child to be happy! You have found a place where you can get the help you need to help this happen. Your child will thank you for it. Click on the link below and you can watch a webinar that gets you started. There is nothing for sale on the webinar. You just get training. On the webinar I reveal: The core belief that you can and must develop to raise a happy child and how to do this How to increase your self-respect A 4-step formula to help you change what you want to change A powerful strategy to help you raise a happy child How to do a mental rehearsal by actually doing one How to live happily with a two-year-old· When you use the Power of Respect to help you create a fail-safe foundation of respect, you are using a tried and true proprietary system with 70,000+ hours behind it, and so many happy kids. By the way parents get to be happy, too. In this webinar, Raise Happy Kids, you learn how the Power of Respect helps this happen by helping you make The Missing Foundation of Parenting your foundation. Click on the link below to learn your missing pieces. Again, there is no selling on this webinar, just teaching. May Your Efforts Be Successful and Satisfying! Best Wishes Always, Karen Ryce The Miracle Worker...of Education and Parenting www.happykidsco.com Karen Ryce Presents Follow: Follow Me On Facebook Follow Me On Twitter Share: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon |
